He finally married my Great Grandma Williams a few years ago, after they had been living together for over 15 years. :0) So technically he was my step Great Grandpa, but that is just weird calling him that after so many years of knowing him as Great Grandma's boyfriend.
He has had many many health problems over the years. With the latest thing being a fake heart that was powered by batteries. He was one in 17 people that has this new invention. We have all known that he would die long before my Great Grandma. Now that it has finally happened, I just feel numb.
Jerry has always been there with his goofy sounding laugh or his harsh teasing. I am sad that I will no longer be able to talk to him. I am sad that he wasn't able to come to my wedding. I am sad that my children will never know 'Uncle Jerry'.
I am also sad that my dad is in Haiti and is not here with his family. Great Grandma is very close to my dad. She leans on him for support and his advice in every aspect of her life. And the time when she needs him the most - he is out of the country and unreachable.
He did want to fly back for the funeral, but my mom talked him out of it. The church has funded this trip and it would be wasting lots of mission money plus cost a lot of money to fly back. And Great Grandma a will need him more in the coming days and months after everyone else has left.
I don't know if Jerry went to heaven or not. I don't think anyone knows. This has me upset the most. I should have tried harder about making sure that he believed that Jesus loved him enough to die for ALL of his sins. And I didn't. I always thought that it was my dad's job to do that. Jerry and I would have discussions about what I believed and why he didn't. But that is as far as it ever went. I do believe that Jerry knew 'right' from 'wrong' and that he knew what he needed to do if he truly believed. But if he did or not . . .
Going up to Ohio on Tuesday for visitation and some family time. Funeral is on Wednesday.
Jerry Smyers - last July
So sorry for your loss :-(
ReplyDeletehang in there, jp! we're all thinking about ya.
ReplyDeleteI stumbled upon your blog tonight. I wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you loved Uncle Jerry very much. Maybe you will find comfort in the fact that we can't possibly know the depth and breadth of God's mercy. We can't know what a person had the opportunity to believe in their final moments. Maybe something you said long ago touched him then and he became a believer. God's precious word tells us that in the end EVERY knee shall bow and EVERY tongue shall confess that the Lord is the Lord. I am praying tonight that your Uncle Jerry is with Jesus watching over your family and still loving you all.
ReplyDelete